Bobisms….

24 Sep

For those of you that know my husband, you know he is pretty hilarious. He’s not the knee-slapping kind of hilarious, but witty, cerebral, quiet and well, sometimes, we just laugh at him.   He tries to listen when I talk about stuff that bores him, and sometimes he gets the proper names of things wrong.  But its funny to hear him try.  For instance, he was referring to one of my favorite spas, About Faces, in a conversation and couldn’t remember the name.  “You know that place you go to… the spa.  What’s it called? Green leaf?”

Huh? Where in the world did he come up with that?

So anyway, I try to record some of the things he says through my Facebook posts.  I always tell myself I need to write them down in a book (aside from Bea, Bob stories are usually the biggest source of entertainment for my friend Mandy).  So from time to time you’ll be treated to a post simply called “Bobism #123” or something like that.  And that will be it.  For example, when I was pregnant, I got the book Pat the Bunny. He said, “Oh, so is Pat the Bunny’s name?”  I’m fairly sure he was serious.  That’s the thing about Bob.  You never can quite tell if he’s saying something to be funny or if he’s serious.  Sometimes the latter case is actually funnier.

Without further ado, Bobism #1 goes something like this:

In the bathtub the other night, Bob was washing Bea.  It’s usually his job, because at 24 1/2 pounds, she’s quite the back breaker.  We still put her in the blue baby tub because it saves water and makes for a quick fill up.  But, the downside is, you sort of have to lift her up to get to her lady parts (Invention idea # 475: Liftomatic chair type device for fat babies in bathtub).

So he’s washing her and says “Ehh, what’s this brown thing in here, a Band Aid?”

Me (squinting): “Oh yeah she still had a bandaid left on from when she got her shots last week.”

Bob reaches in and grabs it, bare-handed.  “AAAACKK its POOP!”  Yep, Bea had left Bob with a little Kibble-n-Bit.  Needless to say, my night was complete.

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