Just when you think you’re having a bad day

16 Sep

So, its been a trying week here in the Flora household. We’ve had poop issues (not enough, too much, can’t find a happy medium), bottle issues, whining, tantrums, etc. And that’s just Bob. hahahahha

No, but seriously, so far the 12 month milestone isn’t necessarily making me do backflips.

So I go to the doctor yesterday afternoon. Its the clinic I go to about 4-5 times a year to make sure I haven’t gone completely crazy.  Sidebar, ladies, if you are dealing with Post Partum Depression, or know of any women dealing with a mood disorder, this little known clinic at Hopkins is regionally renowned and highly recommended by doctors in its field.  I found out about it from a friend of mine who was a Psychiatry resident at Georgetown, and her mentor told her about it.

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/psychiatry/specialty_areas/moods/patient_information/clinic_women.html

Anyway, this clinic comes with a couple of pains in the arse.  For one, they only meet on Thursdays at 2:00.  Two, it’s a bit of a long wait.  I’m usually there for about two hours, including my visit and consultation.  So, I’m sitting in the waiting room, playing Bubble Burst on my phone, when this girl walks in, out of breath like she’s been running.  She signs in, and mumbles something to the secretary about being late.  The secretary, Elaine, says not to worry and I make a comment that the residents haven’t arrived yet so she’s ok.

But she is quickly starting to become on the verge of hyperventilation.   I’m no doctor, but she sounded like she was doing lamaze breathing or something.  Elaine asks her if she needs a doctor.  She says she needs to see Dr. Payne (Dr. Payne runs the clinic).  So Elaine calls the doctor and says that she will be in in a minute.  She then invites the girl into her area and says “let’s get you some air,” and opens a window.  She is crying hysterically at this point, and kept saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” and sobbing.  Elaine is trying to calm her, and tells her to take a deep breath, it will be ok, etc etc.

Meanwhile, there are like 7 other people waiting with me.  I have been coming here for a year and never seen anyone in this bad of shape.  Elaine tells her to sit down and Dr. Payne will be there in a minute. The girl says she can’t sit, she just needs to stand, her anxiety level is too high.

So, she leans against the wall right in front of me, slides down the wall, curls up into a ball, hugs her knees and starts sobbing again.  I sort of look around without being obvious.  No one is doing anything.  I mean, I’m not sure what I expected anyone to do.  But the poor thing was in pain.

I get up, walk into the bathroom and put water on a paper towel.  I walk over, lean down and hand it to her.  “Here,” I said.  “Thank you,” she sniffs.

“Let’s take a walk,” I say. “Come on, get up, take a breath.  Let’s walk.”  She gets up and I take her arm.  We walk down the hall.

Still crying, “I’m sorry….I’m so sorry….”

I am rubbing her back.  “Its ok, hon, we’re all here for the same thing.”  She starts telling me how she just got fired from her job today and she was a good worker.  They found out she was a former addict and told her they’d no longer be needing her.   Said she worked for a thrift shop.  Being face to face with her, I can see how using has ravaged her face.  She couldn’t have been more than 25, but had acne scars and red bumps.

I just said, “I’m so sorry.”  We stopped and turned around and I spotted Dr. Payne in the hallway.  “Oh there’s Dr. Payne.” The girl reached up and hugged me.

“Thank you,” she said.

“Its ok,” I said.  And she went back to see Dr. Payne.

That was the last I saw of her.  Come to find out, she’s prone to these dramatic outbursts, but still… I felt for the girl.  After having a baby, that’s the only way I can see the world, now.  Everyone is somebody’s baby.   And if my baby were slumped over against a wall, sobbing hysterically, I’d want someone to give her a hug too.  Sometimes that’s just what you need.

So, after seeing this gal, it reminded me of how far I’ve come.  I’d been having some stress and anxiety the past few weeks because there is a lot on my plate at the moment (when my ‘to-do’ list starts to get more than 5 deep, it makes me a little tense!)  But this was a gentle reminder, I believe, that things with me are just fine.

When things are getting us down, its so easy to lose perspective.  And here I was stressing about writing thank you notes for my daughter’s birthday, who is so loved and surrounded by such generous friends and family. That’s not a problem!  This girl at the clinic, she had problems.

So, it will take me a while to get these thank you notes out, and to get my pants hemmed, and to clean out Beatrice’s closet, and to find someone to re-do our kitchen floor, but these are problems I guess we should all be glad to have  🙂

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2 Responses to “Just when you think you’re having a bad day”

  1. Stephanie N September 16, 2011 at 2:59 pm #

    I LOVE your comment everyone is someone’s baby! I say this all the time. I work as an occupational therapist at Hopkins, PRN, and it is what gets me through the hard parts of my job!

  2. Karin September 17, 2011 at 7:58 pm #

    Hi-five for being awesome. Who cares if you are “prone to outbursts”- sometimes you still just need a hug!

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